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Yours Alone-Why you feel alone in your own mind | Sami Bsoul

 
YOURS ALONE
Why you feel alone in your own mind
By Sami Bsoul · 3 min read
Yours Alone by Sami Bsoul
The conclusion you drew from the silence
 

You know other people only through what they say.

Not what they feel. Not what happens inside them at two in the morning. What they say, what they admit, what they let slip, what they write down where you can find it.

Yours Alone by Sami Bsoul

That is not a window into them. It is a selection of them.

And you have been using it as evidence about yourself.

You take what people…

say out loud, the things they mention, the things they joke about, the things they are willing to admit at a table, and you hold your own interior against it. You compare. You measure. You draw a conclusion.

The conclusion is usually that you are the only one.

That conclusion is not based on nothing. It is based on a sample. But the sample is not a fair one, and it is not a random one, and the way it is skewed is not subtle.

The things that trouble people most are the things with no occasion. They do not come up. No conversation turns that way. There is no moment when saying them would make sense. So they go unsaid. And their going unsaid looks, from the outside, exactly like their not existing.

You have been reading absence as evidence.

◆The things that trouble people most are the things with no occasion. You read that silence as a verdict. It never was one.

The silence around what you have never said can mean two things.

It can mean the thing is common and no one talks about it.

It can mean the thing is genuinely rare.

The silence cannot tell you which.

That is what most writing about this gets wrong. It rushes to reassure you, everyone feels that way, you are not alone — and in doing so it tells you something it cannot know. Some things are common. Some things are rare. The silence is identical in both cases. It has been identical your whole life.

What you have been carrying is not the knowledge that you are different. It is the assumption that the silence meant you were.

The experience does not change.

If you do not picture things when you close your eyes, you still do not. If you have the thought, you still have it. If you cannot name what you feel, the name does not arrive because someone told you the difficulty has a prevalence.

What changes is the verdict.

You have been treating the silence as a statement about your character. It was never a statement about your character. It was an absence of information, and you filled it with the worst available conclusion, because that is what people do with absences, and because you were young when you filled it.

That conclusion can be corrected.

Not the thing itself. The conclusion about the thing.

This is what my book is about.

Yours Alone is about the conclusion, not the cure. It is about a specific mistake that almost everyone makes and almost no one notices.

It will not tell you that everyone is like you. Some people are genuinely different, and a difference is not a defect. Telling someone with a real difference that everyone is like them is not a kindness.

What it offers is narrower. The evidence you have never had. And a way to carry the question when the evidence is not enough.

Yours Alone · Why You Feel Alone in Your Own Mind

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